Saturday, April 19, 2008

Hot Sex XXX Porn Nude

No matter how smart I think I am, I learn new things every day. Today, I learned some interesting things about a couple of current baseball players, a baseball announcer, and a food spokesman. The things that I learned made me lose my respect for some of them while elevating the others to legendary status in my mind. You be the judge of who fits in what category.

1. Hideki Matsui: The New York Yankees slugger, I found out, has a gigantic porn collection of over 55,000 items. Wow. Not only that, but he actually openly admits his fondness of pornography and often trades adult videos with Japanese reporters. This is the same polite, soft-spoken man who is one of the national heroes of Japan, and who was so secretive about his new wife's identity (to protect her from the media and the public) that he refused to even show a photograph of her.

Matsui married a piece of paper.

2. Jared, the Subway guy: Allegedly, Jared also had a large porn collection in college, and he ran a business renting out all his tapes. What a budding, young entrepreneur! He also apparently only started eating Subway every day because it was the closest restaurant to his dorm, and he was too lazy to walk anywhere else. So by some perverted mechanism, he lost all that weight because of sheer laziness. The rest of the tale is history.

3. Josh Lewin: After a Texas Ranger struck out the other day, Lewin, a longtime Rangers announcer, emphatically yelled out something to the effect of, "He just had a connectile dysfunction!" Let the jokes begin. Actually, I can't resist: The Rangers' "slumping" bats need a dose of "steroids" to help them "perform at a high level." (Steroids ironically shrink your...eh..this is a family site.)

4. Alex Rodriguez: Now we reach our second Yankees slugger of the post. A petite stripper at the Hustler Club who got rejected by A-Rod because she was not his type said that he instead likes the "she-male, muscular type." According to the New York Daily News, one of his favorites is a well-toned, muscular dancer named Monique.

I didn't know that A-Rod is a switch hitter.

I'll give you one chance to guess what he's thinking about.

Just by the title of this post alone, I will have singlehandedly quadrupled the number of people who read our blog (0 X 4 = 0).

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